I’m Love Loulabel, welcome to my picnic spot. I’m so glad you’re here!
A little me:
I adore sweets. I read everything. I sometimes
hide conveniently store purchases in the boot of my car**. I will only drive a Mercedes Benz ( vehicular snobbery different parts of my vehicles seem to attract people who cannot drive). I’m polite and sincere but I don’t care about how people view me (though I certainly don’t wear bike shorts or nude leggings to purposely attract negative attention…I have some pride and being sacrilegious is not part of it). If I don’t like you, that’s it for us I’m afraid. I’m just too busy for crap relationships. I have two children so I am an expert at ‘little white lies‘. I like to laugh. A lot. I josh around much. Don’t take me too seriously because sometimes I’m full of rubbish. But always, I’m honest and trustworthy**.
Parenting overwhelms me with smacks upside of my head without warning. Parenting also ensures I nearly die or wet myself laughing, often in public places. If I vacuum before dinner I have certainly forgotten I am serving rice for supper. When my windows are clean you can find two sunscreen hand prints or someone’s lip outline. If I’m exhausted and need sleep one or both kids will be sick or feel the need to wake in the night. If I have free time the kids are happy to entertain themselves but the minute I am busy they are bored and restless. I enjoy suddenly turning out the lights and hiding from the kids at night (call it preparation for the future, life is scary sometimes). If I don’t want my kids running onto roads I show them dead squashed animals…so far so good. I find pepper is more than a cat deterrent, the kids listen/behave/survive much better knowing the pepper pot in the cupboard exists. Also, perfecting the gasp. It’s important and useful. I gasp in horror and out flow apologies, rectifications and basically just call them puppets for the gasp suddenly attaches invisible strings that only I can pull.
Life is funny. I married into another,
apparently better so I’m told, culture. I have acquired aplomb in standoff’s, the ability to stand down (and showdown), invisible powers of persuasion, a sense of special humour just for interactions with the lovely hubby, and the very important yes I did and what he doesn’t know ability. I have a degree in Master of the Artful. Mostly I have learnt to love, agree to disagree at times, negotiate, and communicate. Marriage really sets you up for having kids if you’re a woman.
I never run out of coffee. I might run out of toilet paper sometimes.
How are you? Are you good, great, perfect, happy, freaked out? What’s happening with you? I’m good, definitely not always great, certainly imperfect, and aiming for happy. Always freaked out. The mindset. It’s all about the mindset. And living on the edge.
For a while LL was about change. Then I was reminded that it’s more about “The chance to trace over and over and over myself…” currently I am drawing parent circles around, over, and through the wife and student outlines and I love the increasing depth and rounded edges.
Welcome to Love Loulabel, please pull up a chair and feel free to stay and be yourself, forever, or five minutes!
Love Loulabel’s most recent artistic tracing over life:
Once upon twenty-one years ago…
There was a girl.
Hello lovely Loulabel.
Who got married.
And wore a red wedding dress and red pill-box hat with black veil trimmings.
She was lost in life. But in love.
Hello lovely husband.
Many years passed and she became an archaeology student, and she studied, and graduated a few different times, and traveled, and worked, and traveled some more, and moved to Iran (with her husband) and got pregnant (also with her husband).
Once upon five years ago she had a baby…
Hello Romeo, you rascal you. I love you, you very tiny early little creature of perfection. Life as a parent begins.
A different in-love. A different her.
Feed. Wash. Change. Cuddle. Sleep. Repeat steps one through four every hour or so. For 2.5 years.
Love. More than life.
You’ve got a delivery, mam!
That same stork drops a pink bundle.
Hello Persia, you Persian cat you. I love you also, you second but-not-so-tiny or early creature of perfection. Life as a parent continues.
Feed. Wash. Change. Cuddle. Sleep. Repeat steps one through four every hour or so times 2..
Then one day sleeping beauty woke up…
And kind of freaked out internally.
Everything was different. Different.
Surprise! You don’t know who you are anymore. How’s that working for you?
Sad violin plays repetitive, screechy, beseechingly desperate tune.
Night and Day.
Everything in her life is good. Except…
who are you, you unfamiliar person in an unfamiliar mirror reflection?
Waiting for recognition to set in. Nothing…
Tick tock, ah, she’s not just the parent clock!
She’s an adult. Who must live the adult’s life now. Whatever that is.
She creates a business. It’s her. It’s hers. It’s the start of something new, of someone new.
She throws out her wardrobe and procures different pieces for a different her. Change.
She feels better. The violin plays a little tune between screeches.
She continues rewriting her book of life…
She continues to reinvent the her in ‘her life’.
This is her blog.
I’m Tanya, and Love Loulabel is my chronicle of creating change in my life.
This is where I am mentally, verbally, emotionally, metaphorically, psychologically, naked. It’s raw nakedness on my part. Good luck with that.
How will this book of life play out?…
I’ll drown out the screeching violins: I’m turning up the good music, so I’m planning to rock the party of life!
Important bits & bobs for Love Loulabel:
LL Saving the world…this is the part where I try to solve all the world’s problems in one
go person. Okay, I’ll rephrase that! This is where I include the little things that I do, with my family, towards reducing damage to the earth, our world.
It’s a small page, but with an ever-increasing category of posts, as I add, update, and come upon wonderful ways to improve the world by changing the ways we live.
Please feel welcome to scout the related categories for ideas to help you live a more natural life if you feel so inclined.
I will have recipes for more natural ways of cleaning, recipes which are homemade and delicious and allow us to walk by the supermarket aisles piled high with chemical-laden, additive-derived foods, and sometimes I might talk gardening, because I do love me some gardening even if I’m not your 20 kgs-of-courgettes-producing gardener!
The quality of cleaning, food, and general chemical-based living has started to freak me out since having kids and realising exactly what (and the unknown) we are exposing our bodies, families, and world to, when we don’t have to.
I hope you feel a little inspired to join me in my quest to save the world one person at a time.
To me, it’s about providing my family a safer, more clean and natural environment to live and grow in without compromising their health and safety. I love this concept.
LL’s Kitchen: this category neatly (I love me some organisation) files my posts on preparing more natural recipes.
I will post regularly with tips and tricks, ideas, information, and anything interesting on good food and cooking concepts.
Feel free to use and share these recipes, for I am attempting to save the world one family at a time, okay well at the very least provide a less-chemically-modified-engineered little family through good food and eating well. Every little bit counts lovelies! So my kitchen is from our table to yours!
Health & Wellbeing. Being true to me, myself & I…well, it’s a hard road, a road less traveled of late, and something that is challenging me more than I could have imagined. But it is giving me back something that is significant and important and special. The getting to know who I am, the giving me back an updated true me.
When I was younger I was a very lost soul. Part of that was being out of social circles due to being home-schooled and generally lacking direction. While I think everyone makes their own fate, or has the ability to ‘pull up their own socks and make decisions’ a teenager is a very vulnerable soul traveling through a myriad of physical, emotional, mental and social changes (and I remember many other things going on too!). While I cannot blame my parents, because they did their best, with their knowledge, I can’t help but think things went a little astray in my up-bringing.
I bumbled along, got married at 17, and moved into a more active, older, culture and social circle. This gave me a little balance and a little direction.
But I still lacked ‘something’. Anyhoo, to cut a long story short I went to through early childhood education and on to University. I loved University. I love learning and knowledge and above all books. Ah, books!
I wore jeans, a pink tee, and trainers. I was busy and happy. I had friends with shared interests, I ate properly, exercised, my home life was good, life felt good.
Then something went wrong. My relationship soured for a bit. We managed to pick it up and move forward slowly. About a year later, we were living in Iran and happy. The weather was beautiful, the people happy, the culture, the food, the country, a place where you felt happy and surrounded by goodness.
Then I got pregnant. It was something I really wanted. We bumbled along some more and became parents. Twice.
I loved my role as mother and I love my role now. But as happens with so many people. In the midst of parenting the parenting people got lost. More specifically, I got lost. I got lost!
And I don’t mean a bit confused, I mean so lost I functioned on fake. Fake everything.
The outside was clean, everything in its place, the inside was imploding. In silence. Because who wants to see a mother who can’t cope. She put herself in the position of parent so it’s her own fault if its hard sometimes.
Hard? Being a parent to another human being 24/7 is debilitating.
Part of the problem came from stress. My son was premature, they fractured his skull. I made him better. Three weeks later my husband collapsed, bleeding out in front of me. I made sure he got better. My mother came 3 platelets away from death about one month after that. I flew down with a prem baby and fought hospitals to make sure she survived.
Every week my Doctor gave me a health questionnaire because, she said, I will meltdown after what I have been through.
The practiced fake me said ‘I’m fine’.
Yeah, how’s that working for you?
I experienced hell at the end of that year when my body went into shock. I became allergic to so many things and my body reacted to everything so that when I went to the hospital’s specialised department specialising in skin conditions they had never had a case like mine. I had less white skin than red. My eyes swelled often, my lips too. I was in physical shutdown for about 8 months and no help. No help. I breastfed still every 1 1/2 hours night and day (a prem baby even after over a year on benefits from anything extra you can give them) and I nurtured that little guy into wellness and strength (and agility the little monkey).
Ever since then I haven’t addressed my self, my place, my needs.
And now I am.
The Health & Wellbeing posts in LL chronicle things that have been effective, useful, significant, and important in my journey to knowing the true me. To my living the authentic self that is me.
I hope you find inspiration and information towards living your authentic life and taking care of yourself.
It is important, you are important. Trust me, being lost is not nice and not something we need suffer through or experience alone.
Welcome to Love Loulabel, it’s lovely to have you here! Pull up your wicker chair and feel free to stay forever & a day.
I’d love to hear from you, how your day was/wasn’t, how rascally your kids are/aren’t, your favourite colour, the one you hate with a passion, about your personal journey, seriously I’ll talk about whatever with ya, so email me, submit your comments, or join me here or on Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest or Facebook!