I See Ghosts…

27 Sep

Hello lovelies, & hello people of the past still in the present!

So I have um’ed and ah’ed about writing about this for a long while.

For many reasons. None of them being that I am afraid of what people will think (because if you know me you know that how I am viewed by others is not important to me).

It is more being able to explain the phenomenon and do the experience justice. The justice that it deserves.

This whole ‘seeing ghosts’ thing is not a common human experience. I mean, plenty of people experience it but not enough that you meet those lucky people every day.

Anyway, let me start from the very first time that I remember, or at least what I now understand I was experiencing. And I am simply going to write about my experiences as they have occurred and as I have understood them and have felt about them.

For that is what this post is. Considering my experiences in having seen ghosts.

The very first time I started to see something strange transpired here and like this:

I was living in my recently-ish departed Great Grandmother’s flat. At night, when I went to bed, before my husband came to bed, I would see a very small light, in the dark, coming from no apparent source. It would move about in odd ways, like around a door frame or across a door. I was completely freaked out every single time. So much that I would sprint to the lounge – a whole foot away – and tell my husband. He saw nothing. I experienced this many times and never got used to it. It was an unexplained light but I was frightened of it.

Probably, frightened of the unknown and knowing that it was something unexplainable but only for, and seen by, my eyes.

The next time I saw a ghost was very similar. I was living in Oxford in the UK and I was alone completely. Every night a light would be in the bedroom at night, in the dark, and it was again very small and it would travel the exact same route every time. Around the bathroom door frame. Very square movement along the door frame. I was still frightened and could barely sleep.

The difference this time was that I could actually ‘see’ the girl, based on information that came from the light. She was fairly young, had long hair, and seemed lost or in need of something.

This went on for a while, maybe weeks. Finally I was really exhausted. So one night, in my delirium, I lay in bed and I said to the girl ‘Look, I’m really, really tired. If you want to stay, please do, that’s okay with me, but I need to get some sleep.’

I never saw her again.

A little while after this I was sitting on the top floor of our house with two of the other girls from University and one said to me ‘T’ from the other side of the house has seen a girl ghost. She says she feels like the girl wants to push her down the stairs. Then she said that the funny thing was she had also experienced something similar with a young girl with long hair standing behind her in the bathroom. And she feels scary or angry. Of course I was a little shivery and vindicated (though I hadn’t needed the vindication). After she finished talking I said I had experienced something similar in my flat downstairs but that she – the ghost – hadn’t projected a negative feeling towards me (aside from the ‘ghost’ thing).

A few years ago, when we first moved into this house, I experienced another ghost encounter. Again it had the light, but again I could ‘see’ the person from his light. He was an older gentleman with a cowboy style hat. He visited often. AT night. When I was alone in the room. He wasn’t frightening but I was still uncomfortable and said to him again that I was happy for him to be here but that I needed sleep so please stay if you like but I need to sleep without feeling scared. I never saw him again here, though I know he is here some days.

I have felt, at various times in this house other beings with me. I haven’t seen a light and I haven’t ‘seen’ them but I feel them. Sometimes I feel like they are talking without sound. Sometimes I have simply felt crowded by them. I simply ask them to stand back as I feel them too close and instantly I feel space.

I don’t know if it is that I feel the release when I ask them to step back – I mean like a psychological distance – or if they actually do step back somehow. But the space and the feeling I have changes.

Another time, I think occurred in this house but I actually cannot remember. I was fast asleep and someone grabbed my arm. I flipped over thinking ‘when do you get home honey?’ (lovely husband often/usually works at night) and of course luck have it in the middle of the night I was well-alone. But I could still feel the touch. Sleepless night was had!

About a week or two ago I had another encounter. And this is something I feel regularly in this house. That someone is behind me. Standing behind me. It frightens me much. As a woman, I have a fear of someone being behind me at night. It is just a fear I have. So having this feeling is unpleasant.

Anyway, this person refused, or it felt refused, to let me see them. They stayed but stayed behind me and I didn’t enjoy it. A few days later I felt like it might have been my Uncle who had committed suicide when I was 14. I am not sure why it might have been him but I had posted a comment on a blog I follow about a suicide post on the day we remember suicide and its role in our world. I could only think that might have been why.

That night, in the middle of the night though, I awoke to someone holding something large over me. It was extremely disconcerting, and all the more for sleeping in my son’s bed with him.  I could only see a very large brown square thing above my head.

I simply stated that I wasn’t comfortable with what was happening and that it needed to stop. Which it did immediately.

I can tell you, my lovelies, I have no explanation, I seek no explanation, I am okay with the notion that I will probably see more ghosts (as I call them), I find it strange, and sometimes very frightening, but I also find it amazing and fascinating and I feel blessed that I get to ‘see’ an image of someone when they want me to from no obvious source but a little light.

What I love, love, love, is that I am 100% sure, confident, and comfortable with the fact that I now know what I am seeing and can accept this without question. I spent a long time wondering. I no longer do. Just like I no longer mind talking about it.

I wonder how people feel about this and one day I hope to meet more people who have had similar experiences.

Shared experiences are special.

 

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